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From the Blog

Teen Drama…Take One


Many times a parent can become so involved with the emotions there teen is experiencing. It is important for a parent to stay calm, listen and not respond to quickly.  Here are some ways to manage teem drama in your household.

Establish Boundaries

  1. Set appropriate boundaries, remember you are the parent first not there friend.
  2. Remind them of their tone and the way they are speaking to you. Parents deserve the respect of there teen no matter how upset the teen is at the particular situation.
  3. Hold the teen accountable to there words and actions. Remind them that we do not choose how people treat us but we do choose how we react and treat them.

 Steps to Handling Teen Drama

  • Keep your head clear so you can be the support and guidance with your teen. Parents can help the teen to navigate through the emotions associated with the drama.
  • According to psychologists, much of the overwhelming emotions displayed by teen can be made worse if the parents indulge in the emotions too quickly.
  • Keeping your emotions in check requires a parent to remain calm in the midst of the of their teen’s overwhelming emotions.Tip: Researchers have found that taking deep breaths provides oxygen to the brain and helps stress levels to decrease.
  • Don’t be defensive, many times teenagers will act out in anger and say things they don’t mean that can be quite hurtful. Sometimes parents fall into the trap of becoming defensive and saying things they don’t mean out of anger. It is important to stay mindful of your words while helping your teen persevere through her intense emotions.
  • It is important to validate your teen’s emotions and show compassion. However, it is also vital to teach him or her how to manage their emotions and empower the teen to handle the issues without the emotional involvement.
  • If you do want to put things in perspective for your teen remind them that while things might be stressful now, they will get better in the future. However, be cognizant of belittling the social situations because you want the teen to feel comfortable talking with you.
  • One of the biggest challenges to the parent-teen relationship through these trying times is communication. It can seem like you are speaking different languages. The key to great communication is being good at listening to what others are saying to you. To ensure you stay on the same page, make time to listen to what your teen has to say.
  • A key to good listening is to empathize with the person. You can empathize with your teen and still guide the teen through the drama.


Anxiety Does not Define You

Facts about anxiety:  Anxiety is our bodies reaction to perceived danger or important events. Anxiety works as the body’s internal alarm system. It alerts us to danger and helps our body prepare to deal with it. 

Anxiety becomes a problem when our body tells us we are in danger when there is no real danger. 

Anxiety does not define who you are as a person.  It is a medical diagnosis that like any other diagnosis can be managed with therapy and medication. 

One helpful hint in managing anxiety is learning to utilize abdominal breathing. The benefits of abdominal breathing is it increases the supply of oxygen to your brain and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system which promotes a state of calmness. 

Power in Kindness 

I encourage you to do one kind thing for your spouse today or one thing that will make them happy. Dr. Harley, who wrote the book “His Needs, Her Needs” discusses that to restore romantic love in your marriage ” that a couple do whatever made each other feel good and avoid doing what made them feel bad”. Research has shown that learned association can “induce an emotion” according to Dr. Harley. Therefore, if your spouse is constantly doing things to make you feel good and appreciated you will associate them with feelings of love. I challenge each of you to put your spouse first today and even if your marriage is rock solid this may further enrich it!

Click Like: The Pros and Cons of Social Media on Mental Health

Social Media is an extremely powerful tool if utilized in a positive way. The major benefits of social media include: communicating wide spread messages, networking and keeping in touch with friends and family.  The issues happen when what you see and read on social media  affect your mindset in a negative way.  The click like culture is part of our norm in society now. Some people post every part of their life online in hopes of: validation, approval and  attention. However, if their post doesn’t receive any likes or comments then it can deeply affect their feelings, emotions and at times mental health.  I have had people express how it even effects their self esteem because their post didn’t get enough likes.  It is important not to allow it to affect how you feel about yourself and remember social media does not determine your self worth.

It is important to safe guard our mental health when using social media. People express themselves using social media and allowing the person to do so without it affecting you in a negative manner is important.  Each person is entitled to express themselves but if it impacts you negatively then it’s time to set boundaries. For example, hiding the person’s posts from your timeline, limiting your time on social media, focusing on positive and uplifting posts. 

You are not Alone

It takes great courage to reach out for help in managing depression. Depression causes a person to feel isolated and alone and difficulty asking for help. It also affects a person’s motivation, energy and overall well-being. 

Journaling can help a person experiencing depression. It enables the person to express their feelings in a personal and private way. Many clients say it helps free their brain of all the emotional clutter.

I encourage anyone going through depression not to go through it alone. Reach out to a counselor. You are not alone in your struggle.

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