Counseling can treat mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, or ADHD, in addition to everyday concerns, such as relationship problems, stress management, career ambitions, or other issues that affect a person’s well-being.
Each relationship is different and comes with its unique challenges. Living and moving through time with another, even the one to whom you were given in marriage, is often difficult.
Specializing in Marriage/Couples, Elderly Issues, Pre-marital, Budgeting & Financial Matters, Divorce Adjustment, Communication, Blended Family Issues, Crisis Management and more.
From the Blog
Many marriages can suffer because of the inability to resolve conflict in a healthy, calm manner. In the many years I have worked with couples one of the major components of conflict is not validating what your spouse says. For instance, a person may come home from work and share how their day was very frustrating and everything that could go wrong did that day. The person just wants to come in and vent and be validated that their day was awful. However, their spouse starts providing solutions on how it can be better tomorrow. In those instances that a person just wants to share their terrible day it would be beneficial to say “I hate that you had such an awful day, I am here to listen”. That statement is two-fold it validates the persons experience and it offers support without trying to provide a solution.
Another component that can cause conflict in a marriage is not understanding or being clear on what your spouse is trying to communicate. An easy solution for clarifying what a person is communicating is to say, “ This is what I am hearing you say”, or “ I am hearing you say this and you seem upset”. This allows the person to clarify if that is not what they were meaning to say and be mindful of their tone.
One final way to resolve conflict is to create a safe word. The word can be anything you and your spouse agree upon. The purpose of a safe word is to use it if you feel yourself getting upset. This provides an opportunity for each person to calm down before talking about the difficult topic. One important tip is to create a time limit to talk again about the topic.
Benefits of Conflict Resolution with your Teen
1. Strengthens your relationship with your teen
2. Encourages communication and not confrontation
3. Teaches your teen how to handle conflict with others appropriately
4. Builds trust with your adolescent
5. Validates your teens feelings
6. Empowers Your Teen
Six Steps to Resolve Conflict
- Identify the problem
- Communicate clearly and calmly
- Allow your teen to express there feelings in an appropriate manner
- Brainstorm together for solutions
- Evaluate each solution
- Choose a solution
We live in a world full of hustle and bustle and it seems everyone has so many hats to wear on a daily basis. The importance of creating boundaries with time management are essential is to maintaining a positive mental health. Our plates can become quite full that they overflow and it begins to trigger health concerns like stress, anxiety, sleep issues and exhaustion. Let’s explore ways to clean our plate.
- Purchase a planner to lay out your day, week, month
- Purchase a dry erase calendar board for your household, you can color code each person and list events, chores, etc. There are also several family scheduling apps that would also be helpful.
- Create a time in your week like an appointment for just yourself..quiet time, gym, walking, reading, etc
- Learn to evaluate what gets added to your plate and when to say no.
- Remove from your plate obligations where you feel overextended and overwhelmed.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help
On a personal note, I am a full time counselor, wife, mom and those are just three hats I wear. I have had to learn to use the techniques I mention above to clean my own plate. I have learned that self-care is so essential to maintaining a positive mental health.
Many times a parent can become so involved with the emotions there teen is experiencing. It is important for a parent to stay calm, listen and not respond to quickly. Here are some ways to manage teem drama in your household.
- Set appropriate boundaries, remember you are the parent first not there friend.
- Remind them of their tone and the way they are speaking to you. Parents deserve the respect of there teen no matter how upset the teen is at the particular situation.
- Hold the teen accountable to there words and actions. Remind them that we do not choose how people treat us but we do choose how we react and treat them.
Steps to Handling Teen Drama
- Keep your head clear so you can be the support and guidance with your teen. Parents can help the teen to navigate through the emotions associated with the drama.
- According to psychologists, much of the overwhelming emotions displayed by teen can be made worse if the parents indulge in the emotions too quickly.
- Keeping your emotions in check requires a parent to remain calm in the midst of the of their teen’s overwhelming emotions.Tip: Researchers have found that taking deep breaths provides oxygen to the brain and helps stress levels to decrease.
- Don’t be defensive, many times teenagers will act out in anger and say things they don’t mean that can be quite hurtful. Sometimes parents fall into the trap of becoming defensive and saying things they don’t mean out of anger. It is important to stay mindful of your words while helping your teen persevere through her intense emotions.
- It is important to validate your teen’s emotions and show compassion. However, it is also vital to teach him or her how to manage their emotions and empower the teen to handle the issues without the emotional involvement.
- If you do want to put things in perspective for your teen remind them that while things might be stressful now, they will get better in the future. However, be cognizant of belittling the social situations because you want the teen to feel comfortable talking with you.
- One of the biggest challenges to the parent-teen relationship through these trying times is communication. It can seem like you are speaking different languages. The key to great communication is being good at listening to what others are saying to you. To ensure you stay on the same page, make time to listen to what your teen has to say.
- A key to good listening is to empathize with the person. You can empathize with your teen and still guide the teen through the drama.
Facts about anxiety: Anxiety is our bodies reaction to perceived danger or important events. Anxiety works as the body’s internal alarm system. It alerts us to danger and helps our body prepare to deal with it.
Anxiety becomes a problem when our body tells us we are in danger when there is no real danger.
Anxiety does not define who you are as a person. It is a medical diagnosis that like any other diagnosis can be managed with therapy and medication.
One helpful hint in managing anxiety is learning to utilize abdominal breathing. The benefits of abdominal breathing is it increases the supply of oxygen to your brain and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system which promotes a state of calmness.